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October 31, 2010

T & F  Q & A

We quizzed Tim about his life in the fast lane of international comedy…

Q: When did you first realise you had a knack for performing?

A:   When I managed to convince those cops I’d never seen that seal-pup in my life.

Q: What words of wisdom will you share with aspiring comedians?

A:   Comedy’s like a cold-sore – it doesn’t happen by itself.

Stop ‘aspiring’ and just do it.  If you fail, try antiseptic cream.

Q: Can a comedian be trained, or does it come down to having natural talent?

A:   Comedy’s all in the training. With a lot of small fish and a garden hose, you can train anyone to do anything.  The Reward/Punish System has its naysayers but, dammit, it gets results.

And frankly, if comedy required natural talent, I couldn’t do it.

Q: What was your most embarrassing moment?

A:   From 1991 to 2008.

Q: Do you crack jokes in the mirror in the morning?

A:   Not jokes, no.

Q: Got any comedy career tips?


1. Sleep with producers.

2. Irony doesn’t work in print.

3. Berlin is not a good place to try out new material.

Q: Do people stop you in the street to reminisce about the popular Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush days?

A:   Once a guy thanked me for sending him to Hawaii.

And a lady complained that she never got her Siamese cat back (which was for some reason a bad thing).

But, if I learnt one thing it’s ‘Never make a show with a sentence for the title unless you want to hear that sentence for the rest of your life.’ If you wanna know where my toothbrush is, buddy, I left it in your mother’s girdle.

Q: You’ve worked in so many different areas of the arts, do you prefer to be on stage and in front of a camera, or working more behind the scenes as a writer, producer etc?

A:   Honestly, I’d prefer to be a critic – the only pressure is on your spelling and grammar. Cheap seats are comfortable seats.

A: Your work has always been political, but it’s hard to tell if you are Left-wing or Right-wing.

A:   Good.

Q: If you didn’t become a comedian what career do you think you would have ended up in?

A:   I always wanted to be a newsreader. Ah, the credibility!

If that didn’t work out, the porn industry is always a good fallback – a ‘second strong to your bow’, as Mum used to say.

Most of all, I would’ve made a good Japanese businessman.

Q: What’s the biggest misconception people have about celebrities?

A:   That celebrities are real people, just like everyone else.


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