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Congratulations, Greens!

December 4, 2010

Tim Ferguson gave a speech last night to the Committee of Young Socialists Who Live With Their Parents. Here is an excerpt:

“…and that’s where Protestant embryos come from.

[Applause]

Comrades, I must offer my congratulations  and thanks to the Victorian Greens Political Party (GPP) for proving my predictions true.

[Applause]

The GPP delivered government to Liberal leader Ted Baillieu.

[Applause]

Yes, the Liberal Party’s withdrawing of preferences from the Greens was a brilliant tactic. It was trumped by the GPP who encouraged the innocent yet naïve intelligentsia to knowingly squander their votes on Green candidates who had no hope of winning. Masterful politics, exploiting a limited but narrow but gormless understanding of electoral law.

[Applause]

The GPP thought Brumby Labor was awful and took over 10% of his votes away. Clearly, they prefer the Liberals (who have an excellent yet bleak environmental and social justice record).

The axiom “Conservatives have no better friends than the petulant Left” is proven true once again.

[Applause]

The Greens are no doubt plotting to get their friend, Tony Abbott, into the Lodge using the same dumb yet stupid yet kill-me-now tactic.

[Applause]

The GPP’s noble sacrifice of the balance of power in Victoria will cause feverish discussion in Brunswick Street cafes and the University Arts Faculty Tearoom.

[Pause …]

But it may happen in important places too.

[Applause]

Next, Comrades, I will show you how the farmer gets a wife…”

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One Comment leave one →
  1. August 27, 2011 9:47 pm

    Thanks for the correction, Comrade Linda. The ‘lower hours’ votes are always confusing.
    A vote for the Greens second preference (Labor) is never wasted.
    And you’re right – misinformation & humour just don’t work (apart from in poor countries like Sweden.)
    Tim has been firmly chastised.

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