TF Q&A II
More Questions and Answers with Tim Ferguson
The thing I fear most is … Ghosts. Being non-existent must anger them. And when non-existent beings get angry, who knows what will happen ?
My guiltiest pleasure is … the same as everyone else’s.
It’s a bit daggy but I love …. Star Wars toys. My collection takes up so much room, I have to sleep outside in the belly of my Taun-Taun.
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was … three world tours in a year. I still wake up sleeping.
If there were five people I could invite to dinner, they would be … Julius Caesar, Germain Greer, Richard Nixon and the Olsen Twins.
As a child I was …. very, very quiet. It was the best way to sneak up on wabbits.
My first job was…. Deputy Gardener at Tidbinbilla Space Observatory. Trust me, the Aliens are here. And they like the petunias.
I realised I could make people laugh …. when I was kicked in the head by a horse.
The first time I performed for an audience I … played King Lear in primary school. The reviews were terrible, said I over-reached.
One of my most enjoyable performing moments was … singing about dogs at the Barcelona Olympics Festival.
One thing I’d like to forget is … Sweden. Spa baths are for making us feel clean.
The entertainer I most admire is… Paul McDermott. He is my hero.
The question I’m most often asked is … “Did you forget your toothbrush?” The embarrassing thing is that I always forget my toothbrush. To cover the awkward moment, I lash out violently.
The strangest place I’ve been recognised is … in Ketchikan, Alaska. The Eskimos have cable now.
The best fib I ever told was … “It’s only illegal in Queensland.”
A book that means a lot to me is … One Crowded Hour by Tim Bodin. It’s the story of legendary Aussie cameraman Neil Davis.
A song that resonates with me …. Long Way To The Top by ACDC. Pure, unadulterated rock. No whining.
If my house caught fire the first thing I would grab is … my Lightsaber (which probably started the fire).
My worst fashion moment was …. 1998-2005.
Three things people might not know about me are …. 1. I’m an equestrian Eventing enthusiast. 2. I enjoy pole-vaulting. 3. I wear a neck brace.
The single thing that would improve my quality of life is … a monkey that can cook, shave and dance for daddy.
My secret skill (now no longer a secret) is …. I’m a publicist for ASIO.
You wouldn’t know it, but I’m no good at …. Greco-Roman Wrestling. Those suckers are slippery!
A song I don’t want played at my funeral is … The theme from ‘Ghostbusters’.
Five years from now I hope to be … spending summer in chilly Albury and winter in sunny Wodonga.
My biggest regret is …. letting Justin Bieber copy my haircut for five bucks.
I wish I had … a truck driver’s license. I don’t care whose.
I wish I hadn’t … become a comedian. Interpretive Dance is my true calling.
If only I could … grow an extra head. Then I could say “I’m beside myself” and people wouldn’t laugh, because it would be true.