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TIM EXPLAINS CANBERRA

March 20, 2011

An extract from Tim’s recent interview in Berra magazine
Q: Tim, spent your late teens in Canberra, how do you remember your years here?
Hypnotherapy.
The deeply-suppressed memories (the Private Bin nightclub, Kambah, the swirling kaleidescope of intermingling colours) refuse to budge. The memories I do recall are happy, carefree and involve driving in circles very fast.

Q: How do describe Canberra to people who haven’t been here?
I tell them it’s a glorious society of equals living in a modern-day Eden beyond their imagining, and that if there is one place to visit before they die it is the ACT.
Hmph. Suckers.

Q: What are you currently up to?
I go to places like Berlin, NYC or Townsville and explain comedy.

Q: Back in the 1980s in Canberra you formed a group known as the Doug Anthony Allstars. For those of us who aren’t familiar with the group, how would you best describe the DAAS?
A Lutheran fellowship of Morris Dancers with a deep love of dogs. We were driven by a desire to teach young people how to explore the boundaries of physical expression, religious belief and Manuka Oval.

Q: You have just released a DAAS DVD, what was the reason for this?
The Unlimited Uncollectible Sterling Deluxe Edition features some of our best work (but mostly our other work) on The Big Gig. I’d like to say something like “you know, it was time for a retrospective view on Australian comedy; time to turn the analogue tapes to digital dots”, but really, it was just more of the same attention-seeking behaviour. Oh, and the money, don’t forget the money, the beautiful yet haunting money.

Q: In 1995, DAAS did “The Last Concert” – any thoughts on bringing the boys back together for a John Farnham style “The Last Tour”?
DAAS never say never. We use profanity and active verbs instead.

Q: Now an ex-Canberran, do you ever stick up for Canberra when you come across Canberra-bashing?
Nobody bashes Canberra. They wouldn’t dare.
But if they did, I’d call for Security and have them removed, beaten and shaved. I mean, why kick Canberra when Queanbeyan is so close?

Q: You may know that the Greens now hold the balance of power here in Canberra. If politics is on your list of things to try, maybe you should try your luck down here, they let anyone in.
Good idea! The Greens are a middle-class hand-wringing network of failed Arts students who worship an unsubstantiated Apocalypse myth. Despite declarations of future-consciousness, the average Greenie is as open-minded as the next Puritan fanatic. It would be more practical (and effective) to elect honest, Socialist representatives.
Canberra’s wastepaper is not a global issue.

Q: Have you ever been mistaken for a Wiggle?
Ask me that again and see what happens.

Q: When was the last time you were back in Canberra, how have you seen it change and how have your views on Canberra changed now that you are no longer a resident?
I enjoy visiting the syringed black hills often. I’ve always like the fact that Canberra was designed by Burley-Griffin as a classless paradise. It was a great idea made flesh. How it became a big western suburb remains a mystery. Who knew that Kambah would grow so big?
That said, you gotta love a place with so much porn.

Q: What does the future hold for Tim Ferguson?
More drastic changes in direction and intent. I wanna make more movies, finish a fantasy trilogy, move to Canada and see a real woman naked.
Sadly, my hair will stay the same.

Q: Finally, do you ever forget your toothbrush?
Um… uh… Gee, you’ve caught me completely off-guard with that one… no one’s ever asked me that before. I’m going to need some time to come up with a witty response. Can I get back to you?

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